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Fic: Why?

Written for the ar_drabbles challenge 'cut scenes'.

Title: Why?
Rating: K
Word count: 300 words
Spoilers: Post-Epiphanies

He’d been waiting for this. The clang of the hatch opening, wheels stopping, a murmur of thanks, another clang.

And a voice from over near the table.

“Why?”

He didn’t answer.

“I was ready, I’d said my goodbyes, I deserved that rest, didn’t I?”

Poured himself a drink, wanting that comfort before he faced her.

“Didn’t I?”

She never raised her voice. He’d noticed that about her. Anger manifested itself in deliberately chosen words, in sharp, cutting softness, in an intensity that you couldn’t turn away from.

“I’m sorry.”

“And now what am I? A cylon?”

He sipped the whisky, letting the burn of it soothe his throat. Looked at her, pale, tired, but full of life. So much life.

“You’re not a cylon.”

“A hybrid. I have cylon DNA. I should be dead, Admiral. My life was saved by a baby I was going to have aborted.” Her voice lowered a notch. “What will the press make of this? What will I make of this? I don’t know what I am anymore.”

How to answer?

“I couldn’t let Baltar take over. He would have destroyed this fleet. We need you. We can’t find Earth without you.”

A short laugh. “I played my role, I found you a map. Isn’t that enough? The military aren’t trained to read maps?”

“You’re more than that. You’re our symbol of hope, Laura.”

“I was meant to die, Bill. I was ready. And I didn’t. Now what do I do?”

He stood in silence, watching as she turned, walked out, gracefully as she could manage despite her exhaustion.

How could he tell her the real reason? That he’d had Cottle save her because he was selfish, because he was falling in love with her, because he couldn’t let her go.

She’d never forgive him.


Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
frakcancer
Jul. 30th, 2010 09:20 am (UTC)
That was a scene which they should have filmed.

Laura not knowing what concerns her most, all unsettled, Bill being the one who feels the need of comfort. (Which is more frightening to face -- death or a pissed-off Laura Roslin?)

And such a lovely companion piece to the hallway scene in Disquiet, where Bill is pleading the fleet's case and Laura is all frak the fleet, let's make this personal, Bill, where Bill is the exhausted one, where Laura is the one in need of chemical comfort (albeit self-produced), where Bill is showing his anger and pain in soft sharp words.
astreamofstars
Jul. 30th, 2010 09:33 am (UTC)
I'm glad it reminded you of the Disquiet scene. That was what I was going for, to some extent. And this scene is one that I've always wished they'd filmed, because we never got any real reaction from Laura over her miraculous cure, and you would have thought it would be something that weighed on her pretty heavily. I wish I'd had more than 300 words to write it, actually, because it feels a bit squashed like this. Maybe I'll have to try to write a longer version sometime.

Thank you for commenting :)

Edited at 2010-07-30 09:34 am (UTC)
frakcancer
Jul. 30th, 2010 09:42 am (UTC)
Write that longer version! I'd certainly read it.
astreamofstars
Jul. 30th, 2010 09:53 am (UTC)
I will see what I can do!
sczep84
Jul. 30th, 2010 10:22 am (UTC)
That's so well written. And I can totally see laura reacting that way! They really should have filmed a scene like that!!
astreamofstars
Jul. 30th, 2010 10:28 am (UTC)
I wish they had! Mary would have acted the hell out of it.

Thank you :)
mascaret
Jul. 30th, 2010 11:09 am (UTC)
How could he tell her the real reason? That he’d had Cottle save her because he was selfish, because he was falling in love with her, because he couldn’t let her go.

She’d never forgive him.


Nope, at that point I don't think she could have.

I really wish this scene had been addressed in the show.
astreamofstars
Jul. 30th, 2010 11:11 am (UTC)
At that point, if he'd told her that, I suspect she would have slapped him.

I definitely wish this scene had been in the show. I couldn't believe they just glossed over the whole thing.
escapedvelocity
Jul. 30th, 2010 01:12 pm (UTC)
This is definitely a scene that should have been in the show. We got next to no reaction from her over the whole thing. Which stuck me as odd considering she was so against the baby being born and the fact she now had cylon blood in her. So great job, I can see this happening.
astreamofstars
Jul. 30th, 2010 07:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)

It was an omission that always bugged me, because it should have had such a huge impact on everything, and yet it was never, ever mentioned.
cutemaggie
Jul. 30th, 2010 01:47 pm (UTC)
and this is the next moment which should be filmed !! and about this moment I woudl like to ask Mary, of course when I will meet her, finally ;)
But thanks - that was great ! I would like to see this on screen !
astreamofstars
Jul. 30th, 2010 07:12 pm (UTC)
Heh, it's something I'd like to ask her about if I ever meet her too.

Thank you :)
sln1
Jul. 30th, 2010 04:15 pm (UTC)
It was one of the more glaring omissions of the series that we never saw a scene like this because there is no doubt in my mind that Laura would have taken Bill to task about his decision to save her given that it was a choice with so many potential repercussions.

From a professional point of view, saving her denied her a destiny she really believed was necessary to the all important salvation of her people and which many within the Fleet also believed was necessary for their survival. If she isn't the Dying Leader then where does that leave them in their prophesied journey to the Promised Land? For many much of her authority as President, as leader, is grounded in that prophesied role. And how can she explain the fact that she has apparently forsaken a role she previously embraced? A miracle cure for cancer which is not available to anyone else who might need it, even if the Cylon origin of it isn't revealed, is a potentially divisive issue; when the Cylon factor IS brought in then that's another can of worms opened up about her continued suitability to lead. How much of all this would have affected the way people cast their votes in the election soon after, why wouldn't people vote to settle on New Caprica when Laura was no longer destined or perhaps even human enough to be trusted to lead them to Earth? It is unfathomable that all this was glossed over, it is such rich dramatic territory, ripe for exploration and that's before we even get started on the personal implications.

So, how does one come to terms with a sudden, deathbed cure? Laura was ready to die, not just willing to make that sacrifice for her people but also seeking peace for herself. She had lost what mattered most to her years before the Cylon attack and spent the intervening time in a job and relationship that weren't fulfilling. Then, suddenly president, she had been forced to make soul destroying choices she was never prepared for and in becoming the person she needed to be to do that job had also been forced to become a person she didn't necessarily want to be - why would she not be ready to let go?

She would be incandescent with fury if she thought that Bill made such a hugely important choice, shattering her destiny and perhaps the future of her people as well as her own chance for peace, for personal reasons. She would have found that lack of consideration for the complex implications of his actions incomprehensible and certainly unforgivable.

At least when the situation was to some extent reversed and it was Laura who set aside the needs of the Fleet in favour of the personal the implications were made all to horribly clear to us on screen.

But you knew all that, it's why you wrote this and wrote it so wonderfully well. The mood of this piece is perfect, the emotion palpable, tension, anger, frustration, incomprehension and the desperation of Laura who is struggling to come to terms with who/what she is and will be now, while Bill guiltily and ineffectually defends his decision because he can't tell her the truth which explains everything but excuses nothing.

Sorry for the ramble but with this great drabble you have highlighted once again what was a shocking omission on the show. Thank you.

astreamofstars
Jul. 30th, 2010 07:15 pm (UTC)
Don't apologise for rambling! You write the most awesome comments. You always get exactly what I was going for when I write, which is wonderful because you can never be sure when you're writing whether everything you want to communicate will come through, especially in so few words.

Thank you :)
pandj1958
Jul. 30th, 2010 07:40 pm (UTC)
This. Why did we not get this? *throws hands in the air*
astreamofstars
Jul. 30th, 2010 07:53 pm (UTC)
Because according to RDM, watch Lee play with hookers and shoot people is way more interesting!

redrockcan
Jul. 30th, 2010 09:34 pm (UTC)
Excellent choice of scenes and I agree they totally washed this one away didn't they. Laura would have been pissed that they did this to her and I love her saying, "I'm supposed to be dead. I've done my job here." Now we know that Bill frakked up the prophecy for his own selfish reasons, but who could blame him, he couldn't help himself. Very nice work! I loved it!
astreamofstars
Jul. 30th, 2010 09:44 pm (UTC)
They did. It was such an important plot point and it just disappeared. Stupid writers *grumbles*

I don't know that it was entirely for his own selfish reasons, but I suspect that there was a lot of that in there. And Laura would have sent him out the nearest airlock had she suspected that Bill Adama was making such important decisions personal again, as he always does.

Thank you :)
twilight_sad
Aug. 1st, 2010 09:00 am (UTC)
>He’d been waiting for this. The clang of the hatch opening, wheels stopping, a murmur of thanks, another clang.

it's amazing how you set the scene for the whole drabble in that first sentence: short, sharp, unflinching, laura wanting/demanding/needing to know why. so in character, so poignant!
astreamofstars
Aug. 1st, 2010 10:51 am (UTC)
I'm glad you thought it was in character. I always worry a little that I won't get that right!

Thanks :)
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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